Iowa State University Alumni Association| online edition | winter 2010

WINTER 2010
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Cover Story:
Jack Trice: A powerful story retold

Feature Story:
Take time to meet the deans

Feature Story:
Good breeding

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WHAT EMPTY NEST?

Starting last fall, for the first time in 23 years, we have no kids living in our house.

Psychologists call it the“empty nest syndrome.” It’s defined as“the feelings of sadness and loss that
many parents experience when their children no longer live with them or need day-to-day care.”

Sadness and loss? Seriously? Because I have really been looking forward to this.

Not that I don’t miss my kids being around, because I do. But does the phrase“absence makes the heart grow fonder” mean anything to you? I definitely get
along with my two daughters better when they don’t live in my home.

I will admit that I may have gone a little bit overboard once my youngest left home to go off to college last fall. Within the first month, I re-painted and re-decorated both of their bedrooms. And the bathroom. And went hiking in northern Minnesota. And went to California. But I didn’t get anything pierced or buy a sports car.

When people ask me how I am coping with empty nest syndrome, I tell them that I am filling my nest with cats.

Before the kids were born, Dave and I had a big yellow-and-white longhaired cat named Toby. He was our baby. We did silly things with him like take him to my parents’ house on the weekends and call him their grand-cat.

The silliness more or less stopped once we had real babies, although Toby was always an important part of
the family. After he died, we got a dog. And two more cats. I guess deep down we must enjoy having a lot of pet hair on our furniture.

Our very old dog and the last of our very old cats have died, and now we have two young cats, Zoey and Camilla, who pretty much run the show at our house.
It’s kind of back to the days before we had kids – we literally have a toy box in our living room for the cat toys.

I have a frame on my desk with four pictures in it: two cats and two daughters. One of my daughters pointed out that the cats’ pictures are bigger.

Last winter I attended my first cat show near Chicago. Technically, I went for work because Donna Fuller (’68
industrial administration/accounting) was judging the show, and I wanted to see her in action (see the story starting on page 32). But I’ll admit I shopped around (in my mind) for cats. Have you ever seen a show-quality Somali? They are absolutely gorgeous. And the Maine Coons! Huge and beautiful. And the Birmans? Adorable. My husband said no more cats, so I just came back with a bag of cat toys, which the cats destroyed immediately.

That hasn’t kept me from searching the Internet for cats, or entering kitty photos in a competition, or going to another cat show in Des Moines. (Hey,
a Somali kitten is only $600!)

Most days our house is like a two-ring cat circus, with the spray bottle at the ready for when Zoey climbs on
the flat-screen TV or Camilla eats my favorite basket. Every time I think about adding another cat to the mix,
I think again.

Besides, when our oldest daughter Katie finishes college this spring, she will be heading off for….who knows? And she might not be able to take her
two orange shorthair cats with her.

So there we’ll be. Living with our grand-cats.

About the writer | Carole Gieseke is the editor of VISIONS magazine.