Iowa
State University Alumni Association| online edition | spring 2006
SPRING 2006
Home
Cover
Story:
The 20 Most Ingriguing People on Campus
Alumni Profile:
An Iraqi hero
Alumni Profile:
Putting the fun in functional
Alumni Profile:
Three wishes for Stephanie Kobes
Alumni Profile:
Roy Reiman: I could write a book
Departments:
Getting Started
Letters
Around Campus
Class Notes
Association News
Giving
Sports
A moment in time
Til Death do us part: Staying happily married for the long haul
Share the love...and make history
Birds of a Feather
Keeping the Carver connection alive
Come home to VEISHEA
A numbers game
Return to Iowa
Changes at the top
Travel! Write! Win!
A moment in time (return to top)
As the National Collegiate Athletic Association kicks tis 100th anniversary celebration into high gear in 2006, it has revealed what it's calling the "25 Most Defining Moments in NCAA History." WAnd wouldn't you know it? An Iowa Stater has made this distinguished list. Cael Sanderson (art and design '01) joins such elite company as Jesse Owens, Magic Johnson, Larry Bird, Pat Summitt, and Arthur Ashe on a list of pivotal moments in collegiate athletics for his win over Lehigh's Jon Trenge in the 2002 197-pound NCAA wrestling final to become the first undefeated four-time national champion in history. Thirty-second vignettes about the 25 moments were aired from January to March on both ESPN Classic and ESPNU. To read the complete list of defining moments and more about Sanderson's inclusion among them, visit the ISU athletics Web site at http://www.cyclones.collegesports.com/sports/m-wrestl/specrel/011006aaa.html.
Til Death to us part: Staying happily married for the long haul (return to top)
So the honeymoon’s over. Now what? Researchers say that 1 in 3 marriages in the United States will end in divorce. Yet 90% of adults in this country still choose to marry at least once. It’s one thing to find that perfect mate and quite another to stay happily married for 20, 30, even 50 years or more. What’s the secret?
Our expert is Ron Werner-Wilson, associate professor in the Department of Human Development and Family Studies and director of ISU’s Marriage and Family Therapy Program and Clinic.
Q: Lots of people GET married. But are there any factors that will predict a sustained, happy marriage?
Friendship is one of the best predictors. Initial attraction is based on physiological arousal, but what sustains the relationship is whether or not it turns into a friendship. Our cultural messages seem to suggest that a relationship is exclusively about romance, which could send a message to folks that if after a few years they don’t have that same strong attraction to their partner there must be something wrong with the relationship. The successful relationships are the ones that are based on some common ground. Not that you have to do everything together, but you have something to talk about. For example, you both like to cross country ski or you’re both Cyclone fans. There’s some common ground that’s more than physical attraction.
The second big thing is respect. Relationships that are headed for troubles are ones where there’s a high degree of sarcasm. If affection is the lubrication of a relationship, sarcasm is the corrosion. Being disrespectful really hurts a relationship. A third predictor is the couple’s ability to successfully resolve conflict.
Q: How do you measure the level of happiness in long-term marriages?
Sometimes researchers just look at divorce rates, and so a successful marriage is one that simply continues. But that doesn’t really tell you if they’re happy. And in fact there are stable, unhappy marriages. So you have to ask yourself, “How do I stay happy for the long haul?” That’s a different kettle of fish.
Q: So what’s the magic answer?
It’s funny you should use the word magic! There’s a fellow named John Gottman who identified what he called the magic five hours per week. Some of it is common sense. But of course there’s lots of wisdom in common sense, isn’t there? Here is what he says:
- Before you leave in the morning, spend 10 minutes telling your spouse something interesting that you expect to happen to you that day. Some couples just do that naturally. They get up and sit and have a cup of coffee together. My parents did that every morning, every day of their lives.
- I think that’s important because it helps you then follow up when you come home for another 10 minutes to find out how the day was. If you’ve told your partner at the beginning of the day that you’re nervous about a particular meeting or looking forward to finally finishing a project, then when you get home your partner can say, “so what happened in that meeting? Did you get that e-mail done?” It’s more likely to generate a conversation.
- Then he suggests that you need to make a conscious effort to appreciate your partner. People in good, happy relationships, ones that have been happy for the long haul, are probably going to do that naturally. Look for opportunities to thank your partner, to appreciate them, and to say positive things about them.
Early on in our relationships I think we probably do that naturally, then we start to take each other for granted, don’t we? You don’t say thank you for dinner, thank you for taking out the trash, thank you for mowing the lawn. That’s going to hurt the relationship. He suggests you have to be deliberate about that. It’s funny, because we forget to thank the people we’re in intimate relationships with. We don’t do that with strangers. When somebody you don’t know offers you a hand or stops to help you if you have a flat tire, you say thank you. You ask somebody what time is it and say thank you. Good couples, the ones who stay together and are happy, remember to do that.
- Gottman also suggests you need to be affectionate with each other. We need physical touch. Hold hands. Pat your partner on the knee as you get up to get a drink. Couples in the long haul are couples who make an effort to be close to each other, to touch each other. So go watch your children play basketball and sit next to each other in the stands. Go play bingo together. Go shopping together.
- And finally, you need to make at least two hours a week to actually be alone as a couple.
Q: What happens if a couple, after many years, finds themselves growing apart?
Couples have to be flexible. You have to be willing to accept change… to let your spouse grow and change. Change is inevitable. Partners change. You can’t expect people to be who they were 30 years ago.
Q: Any final words of advice on achieving lifelong bliss?
If flowers and candy on Valentine’s Day are all you do for your spouse, your marriage is doomed. You have to work hard and not take your relationship or your spouse for granted. We all have a lot to learn from folks who have been married a long time. It’s hard work.
Share the love...and make history (return to top)
The Special Olympics USA National Games are comin' to town...and it's going to take a WHOLE LOT of volunteers to make everything run smoothly.
Organizers are looking for 8,000 volunteers to donate 12 hours of their time (over one or two days) to the first-ever national games, set to begin in Ames and on the ISU campus in early July.
Volunteers will serve as scorekeepers, assist with food service, check in the athletes and their delegations, help with the actual games, present awards, and more. No previous experience is required.
More than 3,000 athletes from all 50 states will participate in the 2006 national games. In addition, more than 2,000 coaches and officials and 10,000 family members and friends of the athletes are expected to begin arriving in Ames on July 1. Opening ceremonies are scheduled for July 2, and the games will be held July 3-7.
VOLUNTEER | www.2006nationalgames.org/volunteers/
Birds of 
a feather (return to top)
If avian influenza (“bird flu”) should break out in the United States, Iowa is ready. The statewide plan was shared with scientists, producers, and government and industry leaders at the “Avian Influenza: Animal and Agricultural Impact” forum held on the ISU campus in November.
“The gathering of key stakeholders was the right thing to do to discuss and come to an understanding about avian influenza,” said Manjit Misra, director of ISU’s Institute for Food Safety and Security. “The speakers helped us understand what various organizations are doing in preparation for a possible outbreak.”
Iowa is the largest egg-producing state in the nation.
Keeping the Carver connection alive (return to top)
Iowa State’s connection with George Washington Carver, one of this institution’s most distinguished graduates, has perhaps never been stronger.
Paxton Williams (’00 political science and communication studies) is the executive director for the George Washington Carver Birthplace Association at the G.W. Carver National Monument in Diamond, Mo. And now, Ben Allen, ISU provost and vice president of academic affairs; Jeff Johnson, ISU Alumni Association 
president; and Sande McNabb, university professor emeritus of natural resource ecology and management, have been elected to the Carver Birthplace Association (CBA) Board of Directors.
Williams said, “I really sought to get Iowa State and Iowa represented on the board because I recognize what an important role both played in Dr. Carver’s life, and I wanted to make sure that the CBA finds ways to honor and build on that legacy. I am pleased to have been able to recruit such effective, passionate, and discerning individuals as Ben, Jeff, and Sande for the board.”
Williams is well known on campus for performing his one-man show on the life of Dr. Carver, “Listening to the Still Small Voice: The Story of George Washington Carver,” which he wrote during an honors seminar at Iowa State.
“I am most excited about this position with the CBA because it allows me to combine my academic study of communications, public policy, and non-profit management with my appreciation for Dr. Carver and my desire to bring people together and enact the positive social change that Dr. Carver himself sought to bring about.”
ON THE WEB | www.carversfriends.org
Come home to VEISHEA (return to top)
All eyes will be on ISU students this April during what is anticipated to be a return to the VEISHEA days of old: a true celebration of Iowa State.
The 2006 event will be held April 21-23 with the theme “Celebrate Iowa State.” The VEISHEA Committee is prepared to continue the spring tradition that began in 1922 but which has been plagued with student disturbances, including a Campustown riot in 2004 that caused VEISHEA to be cancelled
in 2005.
Students, faculty, staff, and community leaders have worked together since then to identify the causes of the disturbances and forge a relationship that will ensure the success of future events.
VEISHEA co-chair Jessica Lecy said, “Our goal is to include everyone across Iowa in the celebration and get them excited about what Iowa State has to offer. We look forward to the new challenges ahead and encourage all students, alumni, and community members to help make VEISHEA a success.”
ON THE WEB | www.veishea.iastate.edu
A numbers game (return to top)
Everybody loves rankings, and here are some
recent ones we ran across:
- ISU’s undergraduate interior design program
ranked 7th and its undergrad architecture pro- gram ranked 13th in a survey of practitioners by DesignIntelligence. - In a ranking of all U.S. landscape architecture schools by employers in the Midwest region,
Iowa State’s undergraduate landscape architec-
ture program was rated No. 1. - The international education program in ISU’s College of Human Sciences has been ranked among the top 12 in the nation by the Goldman Sachs Foundation.
- ISU’s doctoral program in health and human sciences has been ranked among the top 20
in the nation by the American Academy of Kinesiology and Physical Education.
Return to Iowa (return to top)
ext fall the first-ever Iowa State students will receive the “Return to Iowa – Generations Scholarship” as part of a new program being piloted to recognize students with ISU family ties but who come to the university from outside the state’s borders. To qualify for the annually renewable $1,500 scholarship, a student must have a parent, step-parent, legal guardian, or grandparent who is an ISU alumnus and enroll in summer or fall 2006 as a nonresident full-time undergraduate student. “We are delighted the university will be able to offer this award,” ISU Alumni Association president Jeff Johnson said. “Nonresidents who invest in an Iowa State education pay nearly three times the tuition that Iowans do. We hope this new scholarship helps make it a little easier for out-of-state students to come and enjoy the adventure at Iowa State that their parents and grandparents have shared with them.”
ONLINE APP | www.admissions.iastate.edu/generations
Changes at the top (return to top)
Wendy Wintersteen
Wendy Wintersteen, interim dean of ISU’s College of Agriculture and interim director of the Iowa Agriculture and Home Economics Experiment Station since August 2005, is now serving in these positions permanently. Wintersteen (’88 Ph.D. entomology) succeeds Catherine Woteki, who left ISU last July to become global director of scientific affairs for Mars Inc. Wintersteen was senior associate dean of the college and associate director of the experiment station from 2000 to 2005.
Jack Payne
Jack M. Payne, vice president for University Extension at Utah State-Logan, was named vice provost for Extension and outreach at Iowa State beginning Jan. 15. He replaces Stanley Johnson, who held
the position since 1996 and retired in December. Prior to joining Utah State in 2001, Payne oversaw the start-up of The American National Fish and Wildlife Museum in Springfield, Mo., and spent 10 years with Ducks Unlimited Inc.
Travel! Write! Win! (return to top)
Did studying abroad make a difference in your life? Did your study-abroad experience influence your career, personal development, or educational opportunities? The Study Abroad Center wants to know about it!
As part of the official “Year of Study Abroad” as designated by the U.S. Congress, ISU is sponsoring a Study Abroad Center Essay Contest. All current and former ISU students who have study-abroad experience may participate. All winning essays will be published on the Study Abroad Center Web site, and prizes will be awarded.
ON THE WEB | www.iastate.edu/~study-abroad/